dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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