She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
