I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
