i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
