eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
