After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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