i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
