no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
