I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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