ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
