Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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