yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
