It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's shark week go big or go home
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
