The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
