Fine. I'll sleep in my office
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
