you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do herpes really smell.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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