Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
