So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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