Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
