She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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