Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
