I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
