her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
