i just google imaged poop.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
