K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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