Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize