my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
