someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
