sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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