were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
