yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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