You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
