I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize