Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
