wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
