I am puke
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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