my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i drank out of a bidet.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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