Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
