still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
All the doctor said was why
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
