That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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