Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
