You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
