My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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