I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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