also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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