tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i will never coherently bang her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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