I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
