I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize