OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize