As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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