you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
