I'm jealous of your bromance
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
