Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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