The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
