Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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