At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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