Sry I called you an 8
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
