Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
where are my eyebrows?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize