She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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