I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize