that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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