she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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