Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
