I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
