no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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